A/N: The ending is kind of rough, and I only read it over a few times. Please tell me any advice/opinions, don’t hold back!
@fiery-feyre here it is!
“Hey,” Nora called as she pushed open the front door, “is anyone home?” The house was quiet, but that didn’t mean much with her family, who usually shut themselves in their rooms as soon as they got home. The foyer was a mess of scattered shoes and abandoned bags, and Nora added her shoes to the pile before draping her coat over the stair railing.
“I’m in my room!” Marci, Nora’s younger sister by two years, called from her corner of the house on the top floor.
The rest of the house, which was three floors and a basement, was about as messy as the foyer. Ten residents’ worth of clutter filled every surface, and while it appeared to outsiders that the house was dirty or out of order, there was a method to the madness. Everything had a place and could be found easily, if only you knew where to look.
It’s really good! He only thing I caught on to was that the spelling for Kieran jump from an -ran to an -ren sometimes.
ack and i caught myself doing that a few times while writing! thanks katie!
ooh i love it! there were a few things I noticed, but some of it is just my personal opinion.
“and nora added her shoes to the pile” – maybe say “added her own shoes”
“nora set up for homework” – maybe say “nora set up to do her homework”
“revealing marci” – maybe say “revealing a grinning marci” it’s more descriptive
“easily distracted kieran” – there should be a “by” in there: “easily distracted by kieran”
but i love it and can’t wait to read more!
this is why one should always have their work proof read! thank you so much, these are great suggestions that i shall be following!
foxboylucien 