Because I know that SJM/Nesta will get shit for the story line in acofas, I want to say the following:
Substance abuse is real and an important issue. So as @bookofmirth has pointed out, this is not just her family judging her. She needs some actual help.
You can support Nesta exploring her sexual identity, be excited by the fact that she is unashamed of her sexual forays, and legitimately support her right to do whatever she wants. But at the same time, you can also recognize that sleeping with a new person every night and not remembering their names can be dangerous physically and mentally. Sex positivity is mostly about being happy and healthy in one’s sexual relationships, not just about sleeping with whoever you want. So while I am happy, very very happy, that Nesta gets the time to explore and that she isn’t a virgin heroine (a very popular trope) I also think it’s important to acknowledge that what she is doing is not healthy for most people, nor do I believe it is being framed as healthy for her.
That being said, sex is a coping mechanism, and we shouldn’t judge Nesta or SJM for this plot line.
I’ve coped with sex. Is it healthy? Not always. But is it the worst thing I could have done? No. Do I value the experiences I gained regardless? Yes, because they taught me about myself and my own sexual limitations. They showed me what was healthy for myself and I’m better for it.
Nesta does not seem to be the type to have regrets. I feel as if the tons of sex will fall under this heading. She will grow out of it (starting in the next book) and move to building healthy sexual relationships. She will be okay.
It’s fine not to wash your sheets after having sex if you don’t want to.
Let’s be sure not to make this conversation about how Nesta’s actions affect Cassian. That’s not the point.
Let’s not reduce this to “she’s a slut and I think that is ooc.” These books celebrate female sexuality, female orgasm, and women making their own sexual choices. Nesta’s sexual choices may not be ones you approve of, nor are they necessarily healthy ones. But they are HER OWN sexual choices. Hers.
Nesta is right and justified in being grossed out that people see her as Cassian’s. We know he doesnt think of her like this, but imagine what it is like for her to know that the men she sleeps with are afraid of him. She is out here, living alone, trying to feel something, trying to find her way, and she can’t just get away from Cassian for 2 seconds. Guys, I ship them hard, but she needs room to breathe, and I think her dislike of him is intensified by the fact that every man she sleeps with is afraid of him. As if she is his property.
foxboylucien 