I think a major reason why people had such a problem with Rhys in ACOFAS is because he was and is idolized so much. A vast majority of the fandom treats him as this amazing male specimen that can do and has done no wrong– the perfect roll model for what you should look for in  a man. So then when ACOFAS came around and people noticed character flaws, it was a shitstorm. (”What do you mean my fave isn’t perfect??” “You’re not allowed to stan Rhys anymore!” “I can’t believe Sarah wrote him so OOC!”).

Rhysand is not “the perfect male”. He makes mistakes, he does things in ways that can be harmful to other characters. Yes, he absolutely has good qualities, but these same qualities can very easily be turned around on their bad end. Which is just good characterization and writing. 

“For the Dancing and the Dreaming” is such a feysand song

I’ll swim and sail on savage seas

With ne’er a fear of drowning

And gladly ride the waves of life

If you would marry me

No scorching sun nor freezing cold

Will stop me on my journey

If you will promise me your heart

And love me for eternity

My dearest one, my darling dear

Your mighty words astound me

But I’ve no need for mighty deeds

When I feel your arms around me

But I would bring you rings of gold

I’d even sing you poetry (oh, would you?)

And I would keep you from all harm

If you would stay beside me

I have no use for rings of gold

I care not for your poetry

I only want your hand to hold

I only want you near me

To love and kiss to sweetly hold

For the dancing and the dreaming

Through all life’s sorrows

And delights

I’ll keep your love inside me

I’ll swim and sail a savage seas

With ne’er a fear of drowning

I’d gladly ride the waves of life

And you will marry me!